Nothing to Worry About

The 15 protestors arrested by the federal government in Minneapolis this week are, according to the Justice Department’s own account of things, responsible for denting a government F-150 (by kicking it), and tipping a trailer (said to be owned by the accused) onto its side. Kicked a car and tipped their own trailer. That’s it.

Oh, and somehow belonged to the fictional group antifa. Luckily they don’t seem to have teamed up with Santa Claus, the Toothfairy and the Carebears to wage non-existent something something as a cabal of does-not-exist. At least not yet.

Why hasn’t potus nuked Minneapolis from space? Just to be sure.

The direct attack by the U.S. Department of Justice on Americans and the First Amendment makes me think we might not live in the free country I thought we did, and realize perhaps we never did: maybe I was just "lucky" not to notice how often our government has been doing this.

But it’s okay. The American people are a peaceful people, never prone to excessive violence, grudge holding or vengeance, and sure, there are more guns than people in the US, but there is nothing to prompt the American people to use them for anything other than the sport hunting or as agricultural tools, as they typically do. Americans are known for self-limiting their personal firearm use and not resorting to violence.

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It’s not like the government has implemented a Stamp Tax or anything like that (do import taxes, also known as tariffs, count?), they’re just shooting civilians to death in the streets and charging no one for it. No biggie.

In fact, to this Attorney General, federal agents killing people on the street is a-ok, but videoing the agents killing people in the streets is several felonies.

There is no cause for alarm.

Our priorities are in order and it isn’t like we teach tactical communication for military insurgency to our children in school or anything (did Paul Revere’s ride start with “one of by sea, two if by land” or was it “two if by sea, one if by land?” I can’t remember, it's been a while since I first learned it in kindergarten ★). We certainly don’t celebrate violently taking on one of the most powerful empires in history every year with explosions and barbecued meats (happy early 4th!).

And we absolutely don’t have a national case of oppositional defiant disorder. Thankfully. Why when COVID-19 came around, not a single person objected to being asked to stay home or wear a face mask. Surely increasing the costs of everything, cutting back people’s healthcare, ruining job opportunities and hope and then arresting folks protesting the disappearing of their neighbors by a well funded secret police won’t trigger any reactions either.

Why would it? No one is even considering tossing millions of dollars of merchandise into the Boston Harbor. I mean, it’s not like they keep flammable warehouses in the Boston Harbor or anything.

Americans, thankfully in this case, have no track record of being slow to anger and then apocalyptic once they cross a threshold. And surely, any day now, we’ll be able to go for a solid 24 hours without a mass shooting, because if Americans are good at anything it is seeking out the abundant and affordable mental health resources we have and using the peaceful conflict resolution options that are readily available and well used everywhere.

I am confident we will all remain calm, for our safety, and trust that the Department of Justice will bring about righteous and fair outcomes just as the fictional Ministry of Truth dispensed honesty in that one book (affiliate link).

Yes, I take solace, and the administration can to, that it’s not like one of the three colors of our flag symbolizes the blood shed in previous wars we have fought, thus revealing a ardent dedication to fighting. Thankfully, our national anthem isn’t expressly about enduring in the face of a literal barrage against all odds. I take refuge (and potus can too), from any fears of coming violence or chaos in the knowledge that the current benevolent president of the United States has had his tactical acumen recently confirmed by global events, and that he safely presides over the American People, a peaceful people. All the best people say so.

★ It was one if by land, two if by sea.

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© Copyright June 18, 2026, David August, all rights reserved davidaugust.com

David August is an award-winning actor, acting coach, writer, director, and producer. He plays a role in the movie Dependent’s Day, and after its theatrical run, it’s now out on Amazon (affiliate link). He has appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC, on the TV show Ghost Town, and many others. His artwork has been used and featured by multiple writers, filmmakers, theatre practitioners, and others to express visually. Off-screen, he has worked at ad agencies, start-ups, production companies, and major studios, helping them tell stories their customers and clients adore. He has guest lectured at USC’s Marshall School of Business about the Internet.