Government Rebranding Continues
What’s in a name?
Late Friday, after an Oval Office presentation to the press discussing the new secondary name "Department of War" for the former Department of Defense by the President and Secretary of War for Pete Hegseth, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced further secondary names for the Departments of Justice, Agriculture and Health and Human Services. They are all part of President Trump's government rebranding efforts, which Leavitt called, "promises made, promises kept."
The Department of Agriculture will be refocusing on relief efforts for farmers, and associated industries, that are getting hit hard by a drop off of revenue resulting from tariffs and the scaling back of USAID grain purchases. In accordance with this new focus, the Agriculture Department is renamed the Ministry of Plenty. Now shifting their efforts toward reducing food insecurity in the U.S., especially for children, the head of the Ministry of Plenty, Brooke L. Rollins, will be referred to as the Secretary of Famine, to highlight this new focus on prevention.
The Department of Health and Human Services re-brands as the Ministry of Truth, highlighting a Presidential directive to find honest data and not yield to so called experts and scientific recommendations. Its leader, RFK Jr., now to be called the Secretary of Pestilence, has begun debunking peer-reviewed studies on topics ranging from the underlying causes of autism and diabetes to the safety of unneeded life-saving vaccines.
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Attorney General Pam Bondi will transform the Department of Justice into the Ministry of Love, taking the Christian value of Love to heart. Secretary Bondi's new job title, Secretary of Death, remakes the focus of her position on the protection of Americans from murders and criminals.
Within the Department of War will be a new Ministry of Peace, and its portfolio will include the military's Civil Affairs initiatives and Peacekeeping operations.
When asked what operational changes this rebranding may immediately result in, the Press Secretary said the most obvious change to the public may be the color schemes used by these departments in their vehicle liveries. Cars and planes operated by these ministries will have the following consistent colors: Ministry of Peace will use red, Truth white, Plenty black and Love's colors will be pale.
When Leavitt was asked by Fox News why, "focusing on form and style and not on the substance and functional changes Americans need," she replied "because it sounds cool, which is a good reason. And frankly, I'm offended that you would ask." She then declared a closed lid, the end of press comments for the week.
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David August is an award-winning actor, acting coach, writer, director, and producer. He plays a role in the movie Dependent’s Day, and after its theatrical run, it’s now out on Amazon (affiliate link). He has appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC, on the TV show Ghost Town, and many others. His artwork has been used and featured by multiple writers, filmmakers, theatre practitioners, and others to express visually. Off-screen, he has worked at ad agencies, start-ups, production companies, and major studios, helping them tell stories their customers and clients adore. He has guest lectured at USC’s Marshall School of Business about the Internet.
